Personal Musings: Post LEJOG 2017

The ride finished on a real high yesterday and we celebrated like a bunch of pros - a curry, a couple of beers and in bed by 11pm!

Rather than summarising the trip with our best bits (these should have already been covered in the daily blog) or guidance on how to do Lands End to John O'Groats (just spend a lot of time on your bike and get bloody fit), we enjoyed making up our own awards last night and these will serve as the best summary for the 6 of us who shared a really special 9 days cycling together.

Best Dressed - 1st Willis. Cormac was 2nd which he will be disappointed by given that he owns 20 outfits, Robin was 3rd. Amazingly Azon received a nomination even though his kit was smothered in sudocrem!.

Biggest strop - Azon for his solo breakaway into Fort William on day 7.

Worst mechanical - Robin because his bike only made it 2 miles before breaking (for Robin's benefit 2 miles is 3.2 km)

Worst ongoing mechanical - Robin given that his Garmin fell off, his seat slipped down, and despite tubeless tyres being way forward, it went flat multiple times throughout day 5.

Most punctures - Jonesy with 4 (Robin's is only classed as 1 flat even though it took less time to fix my 4 to his one). Willis has the photo evidence of all my punctures, which therefore shows that he was nowhere to be seen when I actually needed some assistance!).

Worst maintained bike from the start - Azon, luckily Mick had some time to attend the group's needs when he wasn't maintaining Azon's bike.

Cleanest bike - Cormac because Mick looked after it everyday to accommodate more faff time at the start and end of each day.

Most combative - Willis, for not letting Robin beat him, yet all the photo evidence proves otherwise.

Person most likely to get mugged on a climb - Jonesy (by Willis as he was the most combative)

Best young rider - Jonesy, because he was the only rider in his 30s at the start of the trip.

Best lookalike - Wellsy for being a fat David Miller (close 2nd was Azon for Mark Cavendish who also strops)

King of the mountains - Jonesy, "they weren't attacks, just the pace I like to ride at!"

Rider least likely to take their turn at the front - Cormac, because his coach told him not to. Once he stopped taking calls from his coach his form dramatically improved (but his coach told him that would happen).

Most likely to take a wrong turn to avoid being at the front - Wellsy, curiously this happened regularly, hence it was termed "doing a Wellsy"

Biggest faffer - Cormac, no contest

Most improved faffer - Cormac, no contest, the only way was up.

Most time spent in the van (other than Mick) - split decision between Cormac and Willis

Best Hotel - Premier Inn Bath - Lenny Henry would have been proud

Worst selfie taker - Robin, for someone very capable at most things, he is comically useless as taking a picture of himself and his desired background.

Captain of the Incontinence cycling team - Cormac had the weakest bladder given he is the oldest and because his coach recommended regular convenience and food stops.

Best flapjacks - Azon's bag of them. Shame that his "special" ones were not on offer.

Most over lubricated derriere - Jonesy, it's always better to be safe than sorry

Worst application of lubrication - Azon, no contest

Grittiest performance - Azon, having the sh'ts from Bath to Glasgow would have stopped or at least slowed a lesser man.

Over obsession with data - Cormac, no contest given that his coach was on speed dial.

Best climb - Split decision between Cheddar Gorge (Somerset on day 2) and Shap (Lake District day 5)

Best moment - The last 40km time trial to John O'Groats (smashed it averaging just under 30mph) or the school kids cheering us on back in day 2.

Team motivator - Willis, for always being positive and upbeat, even though his Churchillian speeches were woeful.

Most likely to get lost - Jonesy

Least likely to wait for a lost team member - the rest of the team rather than wait for Jonesy

Best tan of the week - none of us because the weather was average

Top blog - this one, because there wasn't another one.

Top stat - Total average speed for the trip was 17.8mph (or 28.8 km/h for those that insist on the other metric).

Unsung hero - Mick, no contest, we couldn't have wished for a nicer, more organised and more thoughtful person to look after us. Without him we would still be at mile 2 (well...at least Robin would be!)